Why do we feel the need to tear people down?

You can be the nicest person in the world but there is always times where your subconscious and ever too often conscious self can't help but judge and criticize people. It can be something as innocent as a Facebook post you could just scroll by and ignore but instead you stop and think uggs you broke up again, or who cares about your new business venture, or that your engaged. It's so much worse when people choose to post, speak, and spread negative comments about another person that simply was happy living there life. These are things people should celebrate with others.



For the defender-

There is so much depression and anxiety in the world and all the little bits of negativity we happen to spew out during the day can dig deeper and deeper into someone's mind until they question themselves. All of a sudden the things you were hoping others would encourage are put in a negative light. Thoughts like did I say too much, share too much, why isn't this person experiencing the same well wishes I'd hoped for. The fact is you probably did nothing wrong if your on the receiving end of things. When people choose to say something demeaning to another persons happiness they are in their minds placing themselves up a notch. What they may or may not realize is that their also choosing to kick you down a notch for no viable reason. It can be incredibly difficult to not let these comments get to us and even harder not to fight back. Hate begets hate, and I encourage you to ignore the hateful comments and possibly even attempt to find out the issue with a innocent question, comment, or statement about how that's not really very nice. If this doesn't work the person your dealing with probably doesn't need to be involved in your life in any form. Surround yourself with positive people, perhaps people who share the same values and goals for you. Being the bigger person is a great way to ensure you keep your happy bubble growing and positivity shimmer shining. If people can't except you for the person you are no matter the cause then your better off without them. 




For the attacker-

In this day and time we can block, unfriend, go where we please, and choose who we associate with. There is no reason to put down anyone for any reason that is not directly threatening you and your well being. Why rain on someone's parade on a sunny day? You may not even realize your trying to be superior or that your words can cut deeply, but that's why I encourage you to try out the ten second rule. When you get a really witty demeaning comment in your head or you find the perfect meme to shut someone down take 10 seconds think-

1) What good will it do me?
2) I'm I being hateful or antagonistic for no reason?
3) Is the action your about to take a representation of the person you want to be?



If any of these spark a second thought from you STOP! Don't go any further, take a step back, or scroll on by. I truly believe that what goes around comes around, and lots of little misdeeds turn into great big ones. If you want that coming back on you then you have deeper issues to contend with than being a bully. If someone gets under your skin and you can't resolve it its time to move on to people who make you happy rather than backhanded comments or talking behind their backs. For me this is a huge issue because when I see grown up bullies I wonder what the future will be for my kids and I hope that they can surround themselves with positivity and true friends. So please take a second look in the mirror before you cast the first stone at others and make your words count in a way that makes your personal influence on the world a good one.



If you have a personal story on how someone decided to tear you down for no reason post it in the comments below! PLEASE NO SPECIFIC NAMES lets spread love and positivity <3

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